Trust, Love and Tow Trucks

In 3 weeks from today I will be arriving in Uganda, I still can't believe I am going to be there for six weeks. After my first post, I had a lot of people asking if I was going to keep writing or if I have given up on the blog. I have not given up and will continue to post through out this adventure for those who wish to join me.

Since my last post a lot has happen for me spiritually. Two topics have been repeatedly placed on my heart through out these weeks. Trust and Love. This post I will focus on the trust aspect of my life.
I have been constantly praying for an unexplainable trust in God, the ability to whole heartedly believe that He is in control of my life and for that reason whom shall I fear. I was just starting to feel like I had a trust for Him, I felt ready to honestly trust Him with my life, my possessions, my money. I could say "I trust in God to handle this..." or "God is in control of that..." I felt like I believed what I was saying too, until God decided to put this to the test this week and Friday morning.

I won't go into huge details about this week, but basically I was past the point of exhaustion everyday no matter what I did and I have the phases of exhaustion down pat thanks to college. I get slap happy first which was Monday- Tuesday but by the end of the week I slowly hit the phase of I am going to cry about anything.

So, being super exhausted this week yet continuing to find joy in God, I would still munster up energy to read my bible and prayer before I went to bed and was continually praying for strength for the next day. I was still "trusting" God, or so I thought. Friday morning while driving to work my car decided to just breakdown in the middle of the road. My first thought was "SERIOUSLY GOD!!! I really don't have time, energy or money to deal with this right now. WHY are you doing this!?" All day on Friday I was in a constant battle against myself. I kept freaking out about what I was  going to, why this was happening now on a Holiday weekend, 3 weeks before I go on a mission trip. I was constantly reminding myself to trust in God, He has a plan, He is in control. I was still battling with the why part until this morning.  God needed me to see that it is easy to say I trust you God but do I really trust Him. God has graciously shown me that there is definitely some room for improvement in the trust arena.

How often and how easy is it for us to say God I love you, or God I trust you, or God I give you my everything. We can say these things so easily and we say them often I least I do. How often do we believe what we are saying. Do our actions really show that we love God. How do we respond when trials come into our life. How do we respond when our car breaks down or when we get unexpected bills when we are already low in the accounts. It is my prayer for myself and you as well that we are filled with the power of the spirit to truly believe in what we say. That we may trust in God even when the storms come. I pray that we don't just throw around these statements but we reflect on our life and ask ourselves do we truly believe in what I am saying.

For those going through a trial or storm in life right now, take refuge in your Christ. You serve a REAL God who has fulfilled every promise, who has sent his one and only son for you, He is the alpha and the omega the beginning and the end. WE can trust in Him through the power of the spirit.

Here are some verses that have helped me with trusting God this week:

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I am with you, Be not dismayed for I am your God. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU, I WILL HELP YOU, I WILL UPHOLD YOU in my righteous right hand.

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid I will trust in you

2 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous do not be frightened and do not be dismayed for the LORD YOUR GOD IS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower the righteous run to it and are safe.

Psalm 62:8 TRUST in the Lord at all times. Pour your hearts before Him. God is a REFUGE for us.

Proverbs 3:5 TRUST in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Heavenly Father,
We come to you today pouring our hearts out to you, fill us with the power of your spirit. Allow us to have an unexplainable trust in you. We thank you for the love you have graciously given us, for never leaving us nor forsaking us. We thank you for being our refuge, our strong tower, our shield and our strength. Keep our feet firm in our faith and help us to not waver when trouble comes but to present all our fears and requests on you for you do care. We praise your name and rejoice in your love for us.
~Amen

WHAT IF......

Preface: Let's get a few things out of the way, no I am not a writer I am a math and science major so please just close your eyes to the many grammatical errors that will be throughout this blog. It is inevitable just deal with it. Second this isn't to proclaim the things I'm doing but I was recently inspired by the book Kisses From Katie not only in my missionary life but in my everyday walk with God and if my small story helps another person experience what I did than my goal was met.

It is incredible once you realize how real God is and when you develop an unexplainable joy and love for him. When God opens your eyes and heart to his love you can't even describe the overwhelming feelings you have. That's my goal to get this unexplainable love so that I can love those who curse me and those who persecute me. That is my prayer for all of you as well. As you take this adventure with me I urge you to pray that God open your eyes and heart to experience His love you will never regret it. 

THE OVERWHELMING WHAT IF'S....

I leave for the trip of my dreams in 30 days and the one question I am getting the most is are you excited? I always answer yes I can't wait I have been dreaming about this since I got back 2 summers ago but reality hit last night. I was overwhelmed with the fact that in 30 days I will be getting on a plane by myself, have to navigate the Amsterdam airport by myself, travel through Kenya airport by myself and arrive in Uganda by myself. I think it is an understatement to say I freaked out.

I honestly had to fall on mu face in repentance for my lack of faith, my lack of trust in a God who created every star, a God who knows how many hair are on my head, a God who was the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. A guy once told me "Jaimie you don't know where you are going to be in 10 years or 5 years you just have to trust in The Lord and follow him" let me tell you about this guy his name was Herbert he was 20 and just got his leg amputated because he was battling bone cancer. I won't be able to thank Herbert for these lasting words when I go back to Uganda this time. The Lord used Herbert in incredible ways and I know he is in heaven laughing at me right now saying Jaimie don't worry trust The Lord your God.

I am trying I am praying for that unbelievable trust in God but for those who know me may already know that I tend to be a worry wart I always have been. I fill my head with what ifs and all these situations that could occur. They are the silliest and smallest things, like getting stopped at airport security! The thing that I have realized in the past 24 hours though is I believe in a real God a God that says fear not for I am with you be not dismayed for I am your God I will strengthen you I will help you I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10). This seems to have been my verse this year whenever my life seems to be falling apart and I forget where to turn God graciously reminds me He hasn't left and he never will. I won't be traveling to Uganda alone, I will have a real God strengthening me, helping me and upholding me in his hands the whole entire time. 

That was just the flying there part not the what are you doing with my life part, the I have 2 years of college yet, the I have way more in debt than I should part and if I go to Uganda WHAT IF you tell me to stay and I have to leave my comfort zone my friends my families. I have learned that it is so silly to even worry about those things. We aren't promised the future, we aren't promised tomorrow. We need to love today, to be a light in the dark today, to be the salt of the world today where you are. Now,  after these six weeks if God calls me to go back full time or long term in Uganda I will go. Will it be scary of course it will be! But to live is Christ, to die is gain. We are commanded various times through out scripture to take up our cross and follow. We are told to make disciple of all nations. I will learn from Jonah's mistakes and go when God says go! I will always stay if he says stay. 

So to answer your question yes I am excited. Yes, I am scared. Most importantly I am anxious,rejoicing, and dying with anticipation at what God is going to do this summer. There is one thing I know for sure. God's LOVE NEVER FAILS!